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A year closer to 30

And just like that, I am hereby 29 years old. One step away from the big 30.


Lots of things have changed, many things have happened in the past year..

I got pregnant - felt how it's like to feel nauseous every day.. got to suffer from the pain of shingles.. experienced swollen feet from water retention.. felt exhilarated everytime baby kicked..

I gave birth (traumatically) - realised that labour/childbirth is HIGHLY romanticised, not as easy and fun as they make it out to be.. experienced how it feels like to have a 3.510 kg baby with a big head circumference pass through my small vagina and hips.. experienced how it feels like when no painkiller/epidural works.. experienced traumatic labour, suffering from worst possible 4th degree tear from vagina to anus.. felt every stitch of sewing through my skin.. took weeks to recover..

I am a Mommy - traumatic labour aside, I now have a beautiful lil baby girl.. flesh that I could call my own.. there are times when I hated myself and I felt like I'm the worst mother alive.. but I realise now that I'm not perfect, I can never be, and that I just have to try my best to be the best mother I can be..

This year's birthday feels like the shortest bday ever, but it's also the most humbling.

I'm thankful that I am still alive to see this day. I thank Allah for my wonderful husband, for my beautiful baby, for my supportive parents and parents-in-law, for my precious siblings and siblings-in-law, for my bestest buds and for my extended family and everyone else out there who have been part of my life, who has taught me lessons, who have helped shape the person I am today. I have not been perfect, I have made many mistakes, so please forgive me if I have erred.

I hope to be the best wife, the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend, the best mother and the best person I can be. Insya'Allah.. :)