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Lil Cupcake <3

Never thought I'd love someone as much as I love Mohd Ridzuan Bin Aziz, but I do. My sweet lil cupcake Zia. :) It isn't your birthday yet, but this entry is dedicated to you.

Lil Cupcake. That was my nickname for you ever since I found out I was two weeks pregnant with you. You were just a dot in a sac back then, I wasn't sure whether you'd be a girl or boy, but I had a hunch you'd be a girl. ;)

Pregnancy had its up and downs. Some mothers experience bad bouts of morning sickness with nausea and vomiting. I didn't vomit, but there were occasional nausea from time to time.

When I was pregnant with you, I had lots of fruit - especially mangoes, longans and durians. I craved for western foods, like that one time I wanted an Australian beef pie so badly that your daddy and I went looking everywhere for a Vili pie. (We found it at NTUC. Yay! X)) -I also craved for Wendy's baked potato with chilli and cheese and chocolate frosty ice cream. Every day at work I ate green tea soya bean pudding. It was our favourite! Too bad the shop is closed down now. :(

Then there was the case of shingles - bad skin problem that caused blisters all over one side of the body. That was awful, esp when you were getting big in my tummy. Good thing about my having shingles is that you're now protected and immune from chicken pox. Allah knows best. :)

I walked around a lot when I was pregnant with you, travelling from school to school teaching Olympiad Math. So my feet was very swollen from water retention. Daddeh was kind enough to massage them from time to time. :) I love my job, teaching Olympiad Math is fun. Difficult but fun. Sometimes when I was teaching, I'd pretend I was teaching you. Hopefully indirectly you'll have a superhigh iq and be awesome at puzzles and at math. :p

Labour was unfortunately difficult, traumatic and dramatic to say the least. You were a relatively big baby with a big head circumference considering it was my body's first experience in giving birth. Here are your stats:
Born 4/9/12 @ 2359
Vacuum extraction
3.510 kg
Head 34 length 49
17 Syawal 1433

The painkillers and epidural somehow did not work on me. So the pain was tremendous, and I almost went through cesarean surgery due to my body and legs hyperventilating from too much gas. In the end, I still managed to give birth to you naturally, though I suffered a fourth degree tear that took me 3 whole months to recover from. And because the painkillers didn't work on me, I felt the pain of every stab and every stitch as they sewed me back up.

Despite everything that was happening, I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. It felt weird, almost surreal.. But it felt right. Like as if I've been waiting for you not for nine months but my whole life.

If anyone were to ask me, if I could relive my life would I go through it again, the answer would be yes. You're not the standard mold baby that is easy to care for, but that's all the more reason why I love you so much. You have the sense of hearing that's better than a mouse, you are highly attuned to your surroundings and you're such a fast learner.

One day you will grow up to be one smart lil lady who knows what she wants in life and has the confidence to chase after her dreams. Time is flying too fast, and you're growing too fast for me and daddeh's liking. But no matter how many birthdays go by, my precious lil cupcake, you'll always be my baby girl. <3